“It is impossible that no offenses should come…” Luke 17:1-4 NKJV

Many people get easily offended. They are misers, unhappy and easily jolted by the failures or successes of others. Misery can be defined as the consequence of a negative reaction when we are offended, persecuted or challenged. The feeling of misery escalates when we find ourselves drawn to self-pity and self-condemnation or to accusation of others. Often, the very people who are closest to us inflicts the hardest pain and leaves us hurting either because of hurtful words, unmet desires and unfulfilled expectations, or due to a tail of event that abruptly ended up our agenda that day. People get angry as a result of unmet expectations or goals that have never materialized.

We see this every day in the board room meetings of many businessmen, inside the newsroom editor or among families who cannot really get along well because of unfulfilled expectations from their children or from their parents. Or worst yet, spouses could file divorce lawsuits because of financial woes, sickness or infidelity. As Jesus had said, it is impossible that we won’t get offended as this world no matter how happy, joyful and well provided we are, there is a time that we do pick up offenses. Either we pick this up from betrayal, hurting relationships, from our employees or even from our fellow believers. The closer we are to one another, the more painful the impact of offenses tends to be. David wrote of his experience:

If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God. Ps 55:12-14

Like King David these could be the ones whom we fellowshipped with before, perhaps it could be your former pastor, elder, brother or even your father. Or perhaps she was a former girldfriend or your own employer. The closer the relationship was, the more severe the pain and you find the greatest hatred among people who once were great friends or close together. The list of possibilities is endless, but people only get offended because they care so much. You won’t get offended to a store clerk who may take you mistakenly as one of their cargo boys, but you would take a grudge if your friend called you by that name to put you down.

In a society that is addicted to fashion, self-help, and fierce independence Paul warns us that “there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them” (2 Tim 3:1-5). I first thought that this applied to those outside the church, the unbelievers but as I pondered also about the case of those in the churches, many people who have been offended are just like these also. They are often bitter, slanderous and unforgiving.

How does one fall to an offense?

The Lord Jesus gives us insight on how one can fall to the sin of offense. Yes the Lord calls taking an offense a sin. As we look at the following verses together in different translations, notice that the word offended in verse 10 is rendered as to “turn away” and to “fall away” as in the NIV and NASB translation.  

“At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” Matt 24:10-12 NIV

“And at that time many will fall away and will deliver up one another and hate one another. “And many false prophets will arise, and will mislead many. “And because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.” Matt 24:10-12 NASB

“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.  Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”  Matt 24:10-12 NKJV

Offense which comes from the Greek word, skandalizo means to put a stumbling block, to put a snare or in plain words, offense is the bait of satan. People who are offended could not think any good thing about their offenders, many times when we don’t deal with our offense, this will actually lead us to betray the person and later on this betrayal can lead to hatred which is synonymous to murder. Although we may not have physically murdered a person, when we harbour any bitterness or resentment, when we hate a person, all sorts of negative emotions and accusing thoughts come to circle our minds which leads us to actually think of killing them. In fact, because of these accusing thoughts, because of our hatred, we have actually killed our relationship with that person.

This is the reason why when we hate somebody, we do not actually want to have anything to do with that person. Perhaps a good scenario for this is in the business and academic world; those who are very competitive sometimes overstep their sphere of authority or job descriptions in such a way that they anticipate changes and decide without consulting their bosses on what to do. When this happens, the boss could be hurt and there would be a power struggle.

Now, if you are an employee and you have been criticised by your boss, you can take this to make you better or you can also be offended by the way he criticised your work or decision. In the case of Judas Iscariot who is employed by the Lord Jesus as the Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas Governor, his misuse of funds and his grumbling that the Lord would actually allow an expensive Porsche from a commoner seems too much and this should have been sold and donated to the Bank of the Government. But when the Lord told him to just celebrate the joy that he feels for the gift because He won’t always be there as the President, Judas was offended.

Six days before the Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages." He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

"Leave her alone," Jesus replied. "[It was intended] that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me." John 12:1-8

Judas was actually offended because he thought that a President or a Preacher should never be given an expensive gift. They are servants of the people, servants of the church, therefore, let them remain as poor, let them remain as strugglers in his vineyard. But the Lord answered his grumbling and corrected his thoughts: “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “[It was intended] that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me”(vv 7-8). In short, Jesus explained the significance of the occasion, this was to honor Him, to celebrate His goodness, His work and His achievements instead of simply looking at the circumstances in that occasion (John 12:2).

And because of this offense, he became bitter and spread strife among the disciples who then sided with him. Matthew writes, “When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me (Matt 26:8-11). As we can see from this example, any circumstance, past events, or people who have hurt us in the past can actually offend us and this may result in bitterness. When bitterness is not dealt with accordingly, again this leads to strifes or hatred which in this case was toward the Lord. The writer of Hebrews counsels us, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Heb 12:15).

Many people miss the grace of God because they carry bitterness in their hearts instead of joy, kindness, mercy, love and forgiveness. Some of these are pastors, leaders, doctors, musicians, administrators or perhaps even you. Every time people try to keep resentments about their past, about their present circumstances and about their previous churches or leaders, they are planting bitterness. They are sowing to their flesh which reaps death. As the redeemed people of God, you are nobler and more valuable than just becoming a sour grape to others. We must stop playing God; we must stop pointing the finger to others or trying to blame our past or even reliving our failures. So what must we do? Christ commands us to forgive, release, bless and pray for our enemies and not curse them. Clearly, His commands are not burdensome but for our own goodness.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."  
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:17-21

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers. 1 Cor 6:7-8

Embittered People

Many people who continue to live in bitterness live fruitless lives. They also poison the minds of others. If these are gossip, they maliciously slander their friends, sound their good deeds and want to appear as more important so that they could justify their errors or misdeeds. Some however are ordinary men and women who were wracked by their circumstances which caused them to be bitter against God, and against their people. The Bible is replete with good examples of heroes of faith and their struggles who also experienced heartaches like we do. Some of these have overcame their wounding, grievances, or loss while others became bitter which we must avoid.

Let us consider Naomi, whose name actually means “my delight, or pleasantness”
Because a famine struck Israel during her days, they actually migrated to Moab, a nearby country. There, without family or friends to support her, as aliens in a foreign land, Naomi suffered the subsequent loss of her husband which was followed by the death of her two sons. When Naomi planned to go back to Israel, Ruth her daughter in law insisted and clung to her that she will go with her. So the two women finally went back for good into their land and when they were there, people could hardly recognize who she was! People were asking her, “could this be Naomi?” (Ruth 1:19). But because she felt so embarrass about her circumstances, she refused to be called by her name and accepted the face of defeat by saying: “Don't call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me” (Ruth 1:20).

Can you imagine that? Naomi left her country to go abroad like many Filipinos do; she was full of hope, full of life and then she came back with nothing! She felt like her name, her identity as one who gives “delight”, one who is “sweet” and “pleasant” have been totally reversed by her circumstances, and now in the face of dismal failures and defeat, she wanted to be called “mara” or bitter. We can identify with Naomi. So much of the circumstances of this life can truly make us bitter, from church splits, differing administration, abusive leaders to hurting friends and if we do not guard our hearts like Naomi, we can blame God for our circumstances and say with her: “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

Instead of taking full responsibility, instead of forgetting the past and taking hold of the future, of the hope that God can do mighty things for her, she blamed God for what happened in her life. Are you there my friend? Do you blame God for every bad thing, bad weather, bad grade and bad salary you have? In contrast, one of the greatest man, one of the wisest and richest person who ever walked this earth simply said to her grumbling wife, bitter circumstances:“Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” (Job 1:21). Job lost all his possessions, all his family members except his wife, but his resolve was to worship God, to give thanks to Him even if had lost everything. My friend, whose path should we follow? Should we not allow the bitter circumstances of this life to actually refine our characters and changed us into His image? Should we not allow God to do as He wish with us because He is sovereign and knows the best for us? What should we do then?

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6-8

“For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” 1 Peter 2:19-21

“Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:10-11

“Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name.”[Lev 7:12; Isa 57:19; Hos 14:2.]

“Do not forget or neglect to do kindness and good, to be generous and distribute and contribute to the needy [of the church as embodiment and proof of fellowship], for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

“Obey your spiritual leaders and submit to them [continually recognizing their authority over you], for they are constantly keeping watch over your souls and guarding your spiritual welfare, as men who will have to render an account [of their trust]. [Do your part to] let them do this with gladness and not with sighing and groaning, for that would not be profitable to you [either].” Heb 13:15-17 AMP