How do we know if we have forgiven somebody?
Posted by Edison Macusi on Monday, August 22, 2011
Under: Word for the week
Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.
Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
"So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me — you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.'
"You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly."
Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him. Gen 45:1-15
How do we know if we have forgiven somebody? It is a question that many who are caught in between are still asking. Does it mean that we don’t feel any hurt anymore? Does it mean that there is completely no bitterness that we feel? Or does it mean we have completely forgotten the matter? Joseph is a study of a man that God used mightily and put in authority because he triumphed over the injustice that he encountered in this life. He was a man who had been greatly pampered by his father, given a multicoloured robe, and favoured or trusted son of Jacob in his household. He was loved by his father more than any of his sons.
To add insult to the sulking of his brothers, he even brought bad reports about what his brothers were doing in the field (Genesis 37:2) and then released a bombshell on their heads when he spoke about his dreams. In fact it is plain that because of these, his brothers felt very bad about Joseph, they could not speak a kind word to him (Genesis 37:4). They could not feel any love, any kindness and even mercy or admiration for him in spite of his being spiritual, handsome and being good to them. Joseph usually brought cartloads of food for his brothers. He provided for them from his father's hand in the field. But what angered them most and made his brothers very bitter is his dreams of ruling over them and bragging that even the sun and moon would bow before him. He showed no humility or even traces of sensitivity.
Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, "Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." His brothers said to him, "Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?" And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. "Listen," he said, "I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me." Gen 37:5-9
Because of this, Joseph actually annoyed, irritated and angered all his brothers so that they hated him very much. Dahil sa kanyang pagiging sumbongero, pagiging sipsip, pagiging mayabang at hindi marunong makitungo or makiramdam sa kanyang mga kapatid, siya ay pinag-ngitngitan ng galit at init ng ulo. Mga kapatid dapat po tayong marunong makiramdam, makitungo at makipagbata sa kahinaan, kalagayan at sakit ng ating mga kapatiran. Hindi po sapat ang sabihing 'God bless at bye bye'. Dapat po tayong makiramdam sa kanilang pinagdadaanan. Sapagkat ang tunay na pag-ibig ay marunong magbata, marunong makitungo sa iba at marunong makaintindi. Because of Josephs’s wrong attitudes, in spite of his potential, in spite of his talents and good looks, God allowed trials to come upon his life that would challenge his perspectives, correct his attitudes and feel his need for mercy and love. Joseph was subsequently thrown into the pit. Almost killed by his brothers and then sold to the Ishmaelite traders.
Ano po kayang mangyayari sa atin kapag ang ating mga panaginip at mga inaasam-asam ay lalong lumayo sa atin? Tayo po kaya ay tuluyan ng mawalan ng pag-asa? Tayo po kaya ay tuluyan ng iwanan ang Diyos at kapatiran sapagkat sila ang ating sisihin? Tayo po kaya ay mawawalan na ng bait sa sarili sapagkat ang mga malalapit sa atin ang siyang nagkanulo at kamuntikan pa tayong patayin? Friends, shall we feel abandoned, forsaken, ripped apart and mad because those closed to us have betrayed us? Shall we keep a resentful and bitter hearts because of what happened? Joseph was forsaken; Joseph was betrayed and eventually sold to a captain of the guard of the Pharaoh by the slave traders. When everything seems to have been going well again in Potiphar’s place, another blow came to Joseph. His master’s wife kept on prodding him to sleep with her but Joseph kept a pure heart and mind in the midst of the sexual pressure on against him. His reply to Potiphar’s wife’s seduction was the constitution of a hero:
"With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. Gen 39:8-10
Joseph thought of God first! How could I do such a wicked thing? How can I betray my Lord, How can I betray my master? Unlike his elder brother Reuben who could not control himself and went to defile his father’s bed, Joseph did not seek to fulfil his sexual needs through another man’s wife. He held on to his focus. He held on to God and because of his integrity, he was imprisoned.
Yes after he repeatedly rejected and scorned his master’s wife suggestion to go to bed with her, he was charged with rape and put in prison. There was much to complain about. There was much to be bitter about. In spite of his good motive, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Gen 39:9) not to do a wicked thing before God and his master, Joseph nonetheless was allowed by God to suffer. He was blameless but he was still hurt. This instance tell us that there are circumstances which God allows to pass in our lives which we may not completely know why but we can always trust in His goodness. Joseph trusted in God in spite of the great odds againt him.
“For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.” 1 Peter 2:19-21
Inside the prison halls, Joseph again prospered. He became a trusted associate of the Jail warden until the warden has nothing to do except to keep all his administration charges to Joseph. In fact it is written that the warden does nothing anymore because he put all the tasks or duties into Joseph’s hand (Genesis 39:23). And because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in all that he did, he eventually came to serve in Pharaoh’s palace. God molded his character through the tests that he encountered. He placed him under authority so that he could learn to respect, hear and obey those in authority. God allowed him to get hurt so that he could understand and know what it means to be ruthlesslessly forsaken, betrayed and even forgotten by those whom he love.
Yes there is much to be bitter about in Joseph’s life. First, he got the dream but then he was betrayed and sold by his brothers to the Ishmaelites traders. Second, he was made a slave, from being a favored son to the lowest servant. Third, he was unjustly accused and assaulted but was the one thrown to prison. Fourth, the Egyptian official whom he prophesied to be restored forgot all about him when he went out of jail. In the turn of events, we find Joseph speaking to the Egyptian official saying: But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon (Gen 40:14-15).
Here we find Joseph very much involved with his prophecy. When you get out of prison, please be kind to me and mention me to Pharaoh because I do not deserve to be here. There are still traces of bitterness in Joseph’s words. He was still sulking in his self pity and bitterness. Because if we are completely healed and restored, our attitude should be one of love, “and what is love but to keep no records of wrongs” (1 Cor 13:5). And what is love but to be void of self-interest or self seeking? Therefore, we know that Joseph up to this point in time was still feeling resentments for the events that passed in his life. However, after two full years, and after a time to ponder in the prison of what happened, Joseph could have remembered his dreams and how they fitted in the turn of events that surrounded him.
The successive trials in this life are schools of examination which Joseph passed and when it was time for him to be appointed as Pharaoh’s right hand, he rose up to the call without flinching. Dr. Martin Loyyd-Jones once said that it is tragic when a man succeeds before he is prepared. Joseph succeeded because he learned to forgive his brothers, to forgive his offenders, to forgive his past, and to forgive the Lord. In fact because he had a forgiving heart, he was able to focus well on his tasks and grew up spiritually. He cast away his bitterness and learned to depend on God alone and not on men.
His trust on the Lord was so strong that he did not look for deliverance from man again. Like in the case of Potiphar’s house and the jail warden, when Joseph served in Pharaoh’s palace, the Lord was with him and prospered him in the land of Egypt. He was Egypt’s savior and hero, people bowed before him. Only Pharaoh was greater than Joseph. Such prominence and grace could only be handled by those who have been hurt, offended and humbled but were restored and strengthened by the Lord. God turned out what was meant for evil for his good and for his family so that with Joseph in charge of the whole of Egypt, Israel and his sons and daughters came and migrated to Egypt being spared from the famine that swept the ancient world.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28
Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
"So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me — you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.'
"You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly."
Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him. Gen 45:1-15
How do we know if we have forgiven somebody? It is a question that many who are caught in between are still asking. Does it mean that we don’t feel any hurt anymore? Does it mean that there is completely no bitterness that we feel? Or does it mean we have completely forgotten the matter? Joseph is a study of a man that God used mightily and put in authority because he triumphed over the injustice that he encountered in this life. He was a man who had been greatly pampered by his father, given a multicoloured robe, and favoured or trusted son of Jacob in his household. He was loved by his father more than any of his sons.
To add insult to the sulking of his brothers, he even brought bad reports about what his brothers were doing in the field (Genesis 37:2) and then released a bombshell on their heads when he spoke about his dreams. In fact it is plain that because of these, his brothers felt very bad about Joseph, they could not speak a kind word to him (Genesis 37:4). They could not feel any love, any kindness and even mercy or admiration for him in spite of his being spiritual, handsome and being good to them. Joseph usually brought cartloads of food for his brothers. He provided for them from his father's hand in the field. But what angered them most and made his brothers very bitter is his dreams of ruling over them and bragging that even the sun and moon would bow before him. He showed no humility or even traces of sensitivity.
Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, "Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." His brothers said to him, "Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?" And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. "Listen," he said, "I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me." Gen 37:5-9
Because of this, Joseph actually annoyed, irritated and angered all his brothers so that they hated him very much. Dahil sa kanyang pagiging sumbongero, pagiging sipsip, pagiging mayabang at hindi marunong makitungo or makiramdam sa kanyang mga kapatid, siya ay pinag-ngitngitan ng galit at init ng ulo. Mga kapatid dapat po tayong marunong makiramdam, makitungo at makipagbata sa kahinaan, kalagayan at sakit ng ating mga kapatiran. Hindi po sapat ang sabihing 'God bless at bye bye'. Dapat po tayong makiramdam sa kanilang pinagdadaanan. Sapagkat ang tunay na pag-ibig ay marunong magbata, marunong makitungo sa iba at marunong makaintindi. Because of Josephs’s wrong attitudes, in spite of his potential, in spite of his talents and good looks, God allowed trials to come upon his life that would challenge his perspectives, correct his attitudes and feel his need for mercy and love. Joseph was subsequently thrown into the pit. Almost killed by his brothers and then sold to the Ishmaelite traders.
Ano po kayang mangyayari sa atin kapag ang ating mga panaginip at mga inaasam-asam ay lalong lumayo sa atin? Tayo po kaya ay tuluyan ng mawalan ng pag-asa? Tayo po kaya ay tuluyan ng iwanan ang Diyos at kapatiran sapagkat sila ang ating sisihin? Tayo po kaya ay mawawalan na ng bait sa sarili sapagkat ang mga malalapit sa atin ang siyang nagkanulo at kamuntikan pa tayong patayin? Friends, shall we feel abandoned, forsaken, ripped apart and mad because those closed to us have betrayed us? Shall we keep a resentful and bitter hearts because of what happened? Joseph was forsaken; Joseph was betrayed and eventually sold to a captain of the guard of the Pharaoh by the slave traders. When everything seems to have been going well again in Potiphar’s place, another blow came to Joseph. His master’s wife kept on prodding him to sleep with her but Joseph kept a pure heart and mind in the midst of the sexual pressure on against him. His reply to Potiphar’s wife’s seduction was the constitution of a hero:
"With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. Gen 39:8-10
Joseph thought of God first! How could I do such a wicked thing? How can I betray my Lord, How can I betray my master? Unlike his elder brother Reuben who could not control himself and went to defile his father’s bed, Joseph did not seek to fulfil his sexual needs through another man’s wife. He held on to his focus. He held on to God and because of his integrity, he was imprisoned.
Yes after he repeatedly rejected and scorned his master’s wife suggestion to go to bed with her, he was charged with rape and put in prison. There was much to complain about. There was much to be bitter about. In spite of his good motive, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Gen 39:9) not to do a wicked thing before God and his master, Joseph nonetheless was allowed by God to suffer. He was blameless but he was still hurt. This instance tell us that there are circumstances which God allows to pass in our lives which we may not completely know why but we can always trust in His goodness. Joseph trusted in God in spite of the great odds againt him.
“For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.” 1 Peter 2:19-21
Inside the prison halls, Joseph again prospered. He became a trusted associate of the Jail warden until the warden has nothing to do except to keep all his administration charges to Joseph. In fact it is written that the warden does nothing anymore because he put all the tasks or duties into Joseph’s hand (Genesis 39:23). And because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in all that he did, he eventually came to serve in Pharaoh’s palace. God molded his character through the tests that he encountered. He placed him under authority so that he could learn to respect, hear and obey those in authority. God allowed him to get hurt so that he could understand and know what it means to be ruthlesslessly forsaken, betrayed and even forgotten by those whom he love.
Yes there is much to be bitter about in Joseph’s life. First, he got the dream but then he was betrayed and sold by his brothers to the Ishmaelites traders. Second, he was made a slave, from being a favored son to the lowest servant. Third, he was unjustly accused and assaulted but was the one thrown to prison. Fourth, the Egyptian official whom he prophesied to be restored forgot all about him when he went out of jail. In the turn of events, we find Joseph speaking to the Egyptian official saying: But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon (Gen 40:14-15).
Here we find Joseph very much involved with his prophecy. When you get out of prison, please be kind to me and mention me to Pharaoh because I do not deserve to be here. There are still traces of bitterness in Joseph’s words. He was still sulking in his self pity and bitterness. Because if we are completely healed and restored, our attitude should be one of love, “and what is love but to keep no records of wrongs” (1 Cor 13:5). And what is love but to be void of self-interest or self seeking? Therefore, we know that Joseph up to this point in time was still feeling resentments for the events that passed in his life. However, after two full years, and after a time to ponder in the prison of what happened, Joseph could have remembered his dreams and how they fitted in the turn of events that surrounded him.
The successive trials in this life are schools of examination which Joseph passed and when it was time for him to be appointed as Pharaoh’s right hand, he rose up to the call without flinching. Dr. Martin Loyyd-Jones once said that it is tragic when a man succeeds before he is prepared. Joseph succeeded because he learned to forgive his brothers, to forgive his offenders, to forgive his past, and to forgive the Lord. In fact because he had a forgiving heart, he was able to focus well on his tasks and grew up spiritually. He cast away his bitterness and learned to depend on God alone and not on men.
His trust on the Lord was so strong that he did not look for deliverance from man again. Like in the case of Potiphar’s house and the jail warden, when Joseph served in Pharaoh’s palace, the Lord was with him and prospered him in the land of Egypt. He was Egypt’s savior and hero, people bowed before him. Only Pharaoh was greater than Joseph. Such prominence and grace could only be handled by those who have been hurt, offended and humbled but were restored and strengthened by the Lord. God turned out what was meant for evil for his good and for his family so that with Joseph in charge of the whole of Egypt, Israel and his sons and daughters came and migrated to Egypt being spared from the famine that swept the ancient world.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28
In : Word for the week
Tags: how do we know if we have forgiven somebody?
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