Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.  Job 5:17

Blessed is the man you discipline, O Lord, the man you teach from your law; you grant him relief from days of trouble, till a pit is dug for the wicked. Psalm 94:12-13

Many times in our lives we face adversity and we face the rebukes of others as we go in our daily living. It could be our boss, our employer in our jobs or it could be our mother scolding us for not taking the garbage outside our apartment or it could be the husband rebuking her wife for her shopping spree attitude. Discipline seems to be a harsh word and no one seems to like it at first. If you cringe at that word, then this word is for you. When Solomon was younger and being corrected by his father, he was complaining that he is always being corrected while his brothers are not. But King David was right, he learned from his mistakes in the way he raised up Absalom and he does not want to repeat that. He also understood the prophecy in the life of Solomon, he shall build God’s temple and he shall reign in his stead (2 Samuel 7:11-16; 1 Chronicles 28:4-7). 

Part of the wisdom written in the book of Proverbs are actual lessons in the life of Solomon when his parents (David and Batsheba) actually instructed him and prepared him to be a king. Here we find one of those conversations: “My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11-12). Through this passage and many similar ones e.g. Listen my son to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching, My son if sinners entice you do not give in to them, My son do not forget my teaching, Listen my sons to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding, I give you sound learning so do not forsake my teaching, here we get a glimpse of the discipleship process that Solomon went through. Every father is supposed to teach and command his children to obey the Lord like Abraham did.

And the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 
since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? 
"For I have chosen him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice; in order that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him." Genesis 18:17-19 (NASB)

The children which the Lord has given us are truly our reward if we are able to raise them up well. Thus, a family which is broken, and a wayward child are truly heart aches if we take this command seriously. Because when children are supposed to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice but end up killing, murdering, being a thief or a rebel, these are really headaches in the family and society. It could be that the meltdown of morality, the breaking of families is related to our inability to parent a whole generation because we exchanged their future for money. Children don’t really need more toys but they do need us.

Solomon’s complaints during this time that he was being taught and disciplined by his father is clearly indicated in his own words, “When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender, and an only child of my mother (Bathsheba), he (King David) taught me (Solomon) and said, “ Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them” (Proverbs 4:3-5) and “My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11-12). He complained that his father had pampered his other sons but not him, for instance Absalom and Adonijah who were both good looking and seem to have been children of David during his earlier years were not necessarily disciplined by him (See 1 Kings 1:6; 2 Samuel 13-14). 

In fact it could be possible that because of his failure with Batsheba, he did not correct his sons. The word translated “never crossed him” (NASB) or “had never interfered with him” (NIV) tells us that David was quite far apart, almost disinterested in disciplining his sons. Because of the many difficult trials that David faced during his earlier years from the persecution of King Saul (see 1 Samuel 18-30), it could be assumed that he was busy hiding and leading his men. This primarily kept him very busy so that he was not really able to attend to his family. He was not able to provide a stable environment where his sons could grow from his constant affirmation, discipline and guidance. In fact because David married many wives and sired children from each of his wives, this too contributed to a stressful relationship between his children. It is also because of this practice (polygamy) that later on Solomon would fall.

Each of his sons (with different mothers) were all hoping to get to the throne when he will die, oblivious on who would be the rightful heir according to the prophetic word of the Lord from Nathan (1 Chronicles 17:10-12). Moreover, when David was already established as King over all the Kingdom of Judah and Israel, this also made him very busy with military campaigns in extending his kingdom. But after this, we don’t find that any of his children born in Jerusalem to have caused him pain. It can be assumed that his children born in Jerusalem were better raised up than those who were born during the time that he was hunted like a rascal. Solomon would be a good example for this instance. 

Where do we go from here? We can also mention that Joseph who was pampered by his father had an attitude problem in boasting of his dreams and boasting of his gifts to his brothers. But when he learned from his sufferings after becoming a slave, though his trials increased, his character also changed and his behaviour towards his brothers who threatened to kill him and sold him as slave became more Christlike.  Certainly, after much tribulation from being a slave and a prisoner, we would expect that he would hide bitterness and resentments but when he faced his brethren, there was no hint of bitterness and he even let them save face by mentioning that they were not the ones who sent him to Egypt but the Lord acted sovereignly to save him and his family and all of Egypt from famine. God’s discipline can therefore be viewed as one of His sovereign ways to test, form and 
change our character to become more Christlike. 

Unless we are disciplined, we cannot learn from the lessons of life because the corrections of discipline are the way to life (Proverbs 6:23). Although it may hurt us, although it may strike us, when God disciplines us, we are being led into the right path. Friendly blows are therefore better than hidden love. It is also imperative that as parents today, we should seek to discipline our children, not as much as to spank them physically every time they make a wrong turn but to teach them well and guide them by our words. The objective of discipline is not to do harm or physical punishment, but to instil to them that every decision we make whether small or great will have consequences. Therefore our goal in our children is to create in them a listening and obedient heart so that even when we are not physically present, they will obey our teachings and commands and do what is right even when it is not expedient. Read other articles here